I want to buy these two books on eBay but I feel nervous about it. I don’t even know why because dude, it’s my order, no one’s gonna see it. But mum’s gonna be like “oh I see you ordered things! What are they?” and I don’t want to explain my dumb horribly written pornographic books to her.

Selfish Mister Mermaid, Rough and Ready; I need to find something decent to include in this order, my friends. I best go and find some other things to order.